Day 86 - Hard to Look At

I reacted to both of these images in the same way, I wanted to attack the abuser and I wanted to protect the abused.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react within and as the mind, in wanting to attack the abusers in these images.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel anguish within myself, wanting to protect the victims in these images.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into backchat 'I would never do something like this', regarding the abusers, trying to separate myself from them, not wanting to take responsibility for my acceptance and allowance of such acts of abuse, because existing within and as a mind system, I am responsible for any and all acts of abuse on earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to point a finger/blame these abusers, wanting to separate myself from them and their acts of abuse, not wanting to take them inside me, as me, instead wanting to hurt them the way I perceived them hurting others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly want to harm another, which is really just me wanting to harm me, not realizing that this very participation within and as the mind, causes the very abuse/harm I 'wish' to end on this earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'feel' the anguish, pain and suffering, I see in the eyes of the abused, again not realizing that participating within and as a feeling of the mind, only continues to perpetuate this very suffering.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to look at these images, and then when I do, I react, forgetting to breathe until I am stable, so I may change this suffering and abuse by changing myself first, being the starting point of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly feel shame for all the years I averted my eyes, not wanting to look at what I participated in creating on this earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as shame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly fear the abusers, judging them as having no regard for Life if they are able to hurt animals or children, not realizing that as a mind system, coming from a starting point of self-interest, I too have no regard for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind the 'Good Person Character', judging abusers of Life, not realizing that existing within and as the 'Good Person Character' perpetuated an abuse of Life.

When and as I see myself reacting to images of suffering and abuse, I stop and I breathe, slowing myself down until I am stable, taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed, realizing that it is All Me, and as such

I commit myself to Stand Up, in real time, practically, breathing myself through any and all thoughts, feelings, emotions which arise.

When and as I see myself going into characters of the mind, reacting, I stop and I breathe, realizing that identifying myself and defining myself as a character who reacts does not consider all and what is best for all.

I commit myself to investigate myself and all that I have participated within and as, as the mind system, through my acceptance and allowance, not in judgment, but as the directive principle as one as equal, becoming the change that I wish to see on Earth.

I commit myself to stop placing blame on others as they are just mirrors of me, as it is All Me.

I commit myself to continue to assist and support myself and others as myself, by continuing to investigate myself through daily writing, really getting to know who I really am, all that I have accepted and allowed, and then step by step, breath by breath apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications until I remain stable within and as my body in the physical.
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