Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Day 105 - Tired Character - Backchat Dimension

Today I was very aware of how many times I was about to say "I'm tired".  I did not realize what a pattern/habit this phrase is/was that I experienced myself as throughout the day.

Also, when I woke up this morning, instead of giving in to, "I'm still sleepy", I got up.

Negative Backchat:

I'm still tired, I'm not ready to get up for the day.

I'm tired because I'm older and get tired easier.

I'm tired and want to take a nap.

I'm tired and want to close my eyes for a few moments.

I'm tired and I'm going to bed early.

I'm tired and need to sit down for a few minutes, I just did a lot of cleaning.

I'm tired, I got a lot of exercise today.

I'm tired, I did a lot of driving today.

I'm tired, I had a busy day.

Positive Backchat:

Oh it would feel so nice to stay in bed a little longer'

Oh it would feel so nice to just sit down for a little bit.

Oh it would feel so nice to take a nap

Oh it would feel so nice to close my eyes for a few minutes.

It would feel so nice to lay down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as negative backchat, as I'm tired and want to close my eyes, I don't want to get up, I had a busy day, I'm getting older", all justifications to exist within and as the mind, taking energy from my physical and actually making me tired, instead of just stopping and breathing, and placing myself here as the physical and continuing with the task at hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the negative backchat as something real, instead of a preprogram of the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow negative backchat/inner talk to tell me what to do/how I feel, not realizing that the body/the physical is constant, stable with no fluctuation of energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy feeling tired and giving into feeling tired as a way to not face myself and my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the positive backchat of "wanting to stay in bed longer, how nice it would feel to lay down and close my eyes", because it all 'feels so nice' and makes me as the mind feel relief, not realizing that this inner dialogue is not real, and as such I do not need to give into or participate within and as this and as such I can just stop and breathe and bring my awareness back here to the physical and continue with what I am doing.

I forgive myself  for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the 'tired character' is activating by conveying a picture/thought, followed by a positive/negative imagined scenario, and then the positive/negative backchat appears, and that I do not have to accept this as real, instead I can see and realize the mechanics of the activation of the character and just stop my participation and remain here as the body within and as my world/reality.

When and as I see myself participating within and as backchat as if it were real, I stop and I breathe, realizing that if I identify myself as tired, I am in the mind, and am no longer here as my body in the moment.

And as such I commit myself to when I see a picture/thought of the 'tired character' pop up, I will stop and breathe, bringing my awareness back to the task at hand, before the tired character activates and then creates an imagined scenario that then goes into backchat, all to support the 'tired character'.

See Heaven's Blog for Context  http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/   

Artwork by Jessica Arias




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