Saturday, October 27, 2012

Day 122 - I Really Don't Like You

I've mentioned in my previous blogs that we had a family reunion recently.  Well, a certain friend of some of the family members was going to come and couldn't at the last minute.

Well, in looking at this point, this woman, I see that I 'secretly' do not like.  I 'pretend' to like her, yet was relieved when I found out she really wasn't coming as I had been 'secretly' wondering if I was going to go if she was going to be there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'secretly' believe that I do not like this woman, through silent justifications that stem from past experiences with her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as a thought/memory of a past experience, stepping into an alternate reality within and as the mind, instead of just breathing, placing myself here in real time, realizing that 'not liking' someone due to a past experience was not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly engage in backchat about this woman, as justifications as to why I should continue to harbor ill will towards here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that she and I are one, she is me, and that whatever I do not like about her, is what I do not like about myself that she is standing before me, mirroring me back to me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to place this woman within me, experiencing her as myself, in oneness and equality as what is best for all, but in separation as the mind, pitting myself against her 'secretly'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly believe and participate within and as backchat 'well, she really doesn't like me either', because of a conversation that was relayed to me many years ago, and as such

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this thought/memory, not realizing that all I was doing was creating a blockage/crystallization within my body, participating within and as energy as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that holding onto ill will towards another within myself, just adds to the 'ill will' in the world system that I am one with.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand up and take responsibility for myself by stating NO MORE, I will not participate within and as EVIL within myself, while showing a pretend face.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to show compassion for another as myself by standing one and equal as her, no separation, no judgment.

When and as I see myself wanting to participate within and as judgment towards another I stop and I breathe, realizing that to judge another, is just judging myself, and as such

I commit myself to when I see myself believing  I do not like someone over a thought/memory that is only activating a character of the mind within me, I stand up, stating No More, I will no longer participate as energy as the mind, I will slow myself down, breathing until I am constant and stable, recognizing that there is no separation, that she is me, one and equal, and as such

I commit myself to direct myself within and as the moment as the breath within and as the living principle as what is best for all.

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