Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Day 207- Breathing through Fear of Traveling - Day 14
I have even spoken, and participated in backchat, 'I just don't think I can travel, if I go through security and I am touched inappropriately, I'm afraid I'll haul off and hit the attendant'.
And then to add to this resistance and projection, I have watched videos of women crying, at the airport, after going through security, relaying their experience where they felt violated when they were patted down, and I've also read many related stories along this same line of experience.
So, I have not travelled since the TSA scanners have been installed, or since security has implemented the patting down of those that opt out of being exposed to the radiation of the scanners.
And, its funny because I just read an article where the scanners are now going to be removed from the airports.
So, through this all I have I have experienced myself within and as the mind in projection, resistance, anger, imagining, where I have missed the moment of directing myself here within and as the breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going to the airport and have to go through the current security system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in participating within and as fear, to project into the future, what will happen if I travel, and have to go through security under the current system, where I have experienced myself within and as an alternate reality of the mind, not breathing in self-awareness and slowing myself down, placing myself here within and as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear exists and therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an imagined scenario of me reacting in anger if I was touched inappropriately, 'if' I travelled, projecting myself in my mind to a future event that hasn't even happened yet, and as such is not even real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as backchat, 'I don't know if I can trust myself if I'm touched inappropriately, that I won't haul off and hit the attendant', where I see/realize that I am having internal/external conversations about a projected future event, where I am determining the outcome, through my mind, as an alternate reality, where I am leaving real time, here within and as the physical, where I am not breathing, in/out, slowing myself down until I am stable, placing my attention here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger, fear, apprehension of the thought of traveling, as an experience of the mind, where I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as energy, where in reality, I am here in the physical, I am not traveling, I do not have any immediate plans to travel physically, yet in my mind I am experiencing myself traveling.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create resistance to traveling through participating within and as the mind as to all the reasons why I do not want to travel, when, in fact, physically/financially I will not be traveling any time soon, so why participate in a make-believe reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the new security system as a part of a conspiracy theory to continue to take away man's civil liberties, under the guise of protection, and as such I have created/existed as fear, based on this theory, pointing a finger at 'them', doing this to 'us', when in fact there is no 'them'/'us', as it is all me, all that I have accepted and allowed through my participation within and as the world system, and as such pointing a finger/reacting in fear, will only continue to perpetuate this fear-based belief system, and as such
I commit myself to breathe in self-awareness, slowing myself down, until I am constant and stable, writing this out, facing/investigating myself, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, and willing myself to stop, changing myself.
As I open this point and investigate/face myself, I see that the fear of travelling is not only regarding the current security system.
So, I will continue this in my next blog...