Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Day 511 - Do I Really Need to Eat That?

Continuing from Day 510 - 21-Day Eating Challenge

So, I observed myself yesterday.  First of all, I 'felt' very hungry all day long.  Now I have noticed in the past when I have gone off and just overloaded my body/system with sweets and foods that make me feel sluggish and puffy, that when I re-align myself/my body with foods that best support me, there is a short period where I still crave these other foods and I 'feel' extra hungry.

So, yesterday, being the beginning of my eating challenge, this is what happened.  Where first of all mid-morning there was backchat, 'I want a little something sweet', followed by an image of a muffin.  Instead of giving into this, I breathed, slowed myself down, asked myself was I really hungry and then when I determined that I was hungry, I chose foods that best supported me. 

Then, in the middle of the afternoon, I have a pattern where I become very hungry and want to, again, eat something sweet.  Again, I assessed whether I was truly hungry, and then again chose foods that were supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into eating sweets at certain times of the day that I have created as a time for a little pick-me up, where instead of choosing food that best supports my body, I will choose something sweet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into this 'sweets' addiction that I have existed as my whole life, as a preprogram, to which I have applied self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements before, yet have not changed in real time, practically assisting and supporting myself to push through resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the holidays as a justification for giving into this sweets addiction, then accepting and allowing it to continue, to become a part of my life/existence again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, upon starting back on re-aligning myself to assist and support myself by choosing foods that best support my body, I participated in backchat, 'well instead of starting on Sunday, as you are going to a family gathering, start on Monday', as I see/realize/understand that all this is doing is prolonging the abuse I am perpetuating on my physical body, because if I do not stop, take a stand, change myself in real time, no one else will, no one will do this for me, all I am doing is accumulating consequence, as I see/realize that if I am feeling sluggish and puffy, gaining weight, through my food choices, what exactly is happening within my body?

I commit myself to stand up, taking responsibility for what I accept and allow to go into my body, as I see/realize/understand that I always have a choice, I only have this moment, and as such

I commit myself to choose foods that best assists and supports my body.

I commit myself to walking this 21-day eating challenge, making myself aware of what I eat, when I eat, how I eat.


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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Day 510 - 21-Day Eating Challenge


Through my process, I have found 21-day challenges to be effective in stopping patterns, releasing myself from programs/characters of the mind, as within this 21-day period, I'm very focused on the pattern/program that I want to walk myself out of, observing what comes up, what I've distracted myself from, and what I can do to assist and support myself.

Last year, January, 2013, my daughter and I started on the Weight-Watchers Program.  She wanted to lose weight and I wanted to lose weight, but more importantly I wanted to see exactly how I was sabotaging myself, to the point that I kept gaining weight, 'believing' that I wasn't eating that much.  So, in the year 2013 I lost nearly 30 lbs. as did my daughter and we educated ourselves as to the correct portions of foods, the kinds of foods that best supported our bodies.

Well, the holidays came, and I/we started slipping, falling back into our old patterns with and around food.  So, here it is April and I have put back about 7-8 pounds and my daughter has gained some back also, but more importantly I have not been eating to assist and support my body, but rather giving into eating foods that I have an addiction for, where the more I eat, the more I want.

I have decided to get back on the program, but to also give myself a jump start by starting this 21-day challenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the holidays as a justification to eat according to what my mind wants rather than what assists and supports my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use food as a source of entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slip back into old eating patterns, especially around indulgence in sweets, as I see/realize/understand that this is a long-standing addiction, that when I give into it, I'm not satisfied with just a little, with just a bite, instead wanting to eat more to the point my body feels sluggish and puffy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to sweets in basically all its forms, ie. chocolate, cookies, pie, cake, ice cream.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself, my body, my health, all because I like the taste of something, as I see/realize/understand that this is me, coming from a starting point of the mind, not assisting and supporting me as my body.

I commit myself in this next 21 days to give myself a jump start, not distracting myself, not justifying giving into old eating patterns, but giving myself the opportunity to assist and support me as my body with every bite of food, with every food choice I make.


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Saturday, April 19, 2014

Day 509 - A Conversation With My Daughter


My daughter and I were recently talking when she turned to me and said, "I have a point you can write about".  She then proceeded to tell me about something I did the last time I was at her house, which turned out to be one of the reasons she has not invited me back.

Now, this point, I am going to expand about in another blog, which basically is me, being nitpicky and critical when I am at her house, regarding the cleanliness of her home, which I also carry through with my son, being verbally critical of the cleanliness of his children.

The cool thing was as my daughter shared with me what I did and how she reacted, I was able to listen to her, where there was no movement within me and I actually thanked her for sharing this as it definitely was a point/pattern that I needed to re-open.

The whole point came up in the first place, as we were talking, I said 'Aren't you glad I'm not all gushy over you anymore?' Because as a Love and Lighter I would fawn over people and especially my family in overtures of 'expressions of love'.

So, she agreed with me, and that is when she brought up this other point.

My relationship with my daughter has really changed these past few years, especially this last year, where we are able to share practical support, come up with practical solutions, where I am able to share with her process, as she is aware of my blogging, my involvement with LIG, where in the past she did not want to hear anything about Desteni, which has drastically changed, where she said to me "mom, I listen to you more than you realize," to which, she has made a number of practical, physical changes in her life recently, that were based on 'what is best for all concerned'.

She then turned to me and asked me 'Is there a point that I need to look at?" I answered "Really?" To which she answered "yes".  So, to say the least, I was pleasantly surprised, and I answered her "Don't look away from the suffering in this world", and she then shared with me a recent experience of hers where she was faced with just this and she did not turn away.

 I told her I was going to write about our conversation.

So, I have found by talking to my daughter practically, simply, we are re-establishing a relationship based in honesty and practical support, to which our dialogue has changed, the words that we use to support ourselves has changed, how we approach solutions has changed.

Join Us at Desteni, become the change you wish to see in others, in your family, in your community, in your world.  We can make a difference, we can stand up and take responsibility for ourselves, practically, becoming the living solutions in a world that honors all life equal and one, within the directive principle of what is best for all, always..

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Day 507 - Depending on Another - Part 2

                                                                                        Desteni Artist - Kelly Posey

Continuing from Day 506 - Depending on Another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a point of stability and calm within and as another, outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on another to give me that sense of stability and calm, as I see/realize/understand that in depending on another to 'give' me that sense of stability and calm, I am, in fact, not standing as stable and calm within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel motivated when in the presence of another, as I see/realize/understand that feeling motivated is an energetic experience of the mind, shifting me into an alternate reality, superimposed over the reality of the physical, to which I can instead direct myself in self-honesty, where I am the starting point, making the decision to direct myself to take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, when faced with a new experience/endeavor, to depend on someone other than myself, thereby standing in separation of myself and another as myself, expecting them to provide me with the impetus to direct this new endeavor, instead of taking the knowledge and information that they provide and then me taking action in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justifications of feeling unsure of myself to diminish and limit myself into taking action, participating in backchat 'oh, I'm just not sure how to approach this, he makes it look so easy, but he's always out there, he's had lots of years of doing this, he's had lots of training, I'm not that comfortable about approaching people'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others will not react favorably when I approach them because I do not react favorably when I am approached, as I see/realize/understand that what I'm doing has merit, and all I have to do is share the information, practically and not from a starting point of  a 'positive-feeling experience'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I will meet many people in the field of network marketing that are 'positive' that are trained to be 'positive', which does not mean I cannot associate and work with these people, as I see/realize/understand that this is an opportunity to face/investigate this pattern within myself, directing this point so I stand constant and stable, that I present the information from this starting point, not accepting or allowing myself to go into a positive-feeling motivated experience.

When and as I see myself participating in backchat, diminishing and limiting myself, I stop and I breathe, I look at the information before me, I take steps here in the physical, then directing myself from a point of stability within and as myself.

When and as I see myself feeling motivated within the company of my colleague, I stop and I breathe, slowing myself down so as to release me from a positive-feeling energetic experience of the mind.

When and as I see myself depending on another for stability within a point, I stop and I breathe, bringing myself back here to the moment, to my current reality, looking at what is right before me, assisting and supporting myself so I am my starting point of stability within and as myself.

I see/realize/understand that in facing/investigating uncertainty within a new endeavor, I am, in fact, facing, releasing a fear of the mind, which is not real, which serves no practical purpose, and as such

I commit myself to as I am walking this new endeavor, to push myself through the resistance and fear that comes up through the mind, applying breath in self-awareness, practically assisting and supporting myself to stand stable, calm, self-directed.


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Saturday, April 12, 2014

Day 506 - Depending on Another


The night before last, I awoke in the early morning hours, feeling anxious and agitated, where my mind kept running over and over this scenario I was obsessing about. I was not able to stabilize myself through breathing, so I got up and wrote down all these words that were running around in my mind.

I had been 'thinking' about this situation which involves someone else in my life for about a week or more now.  And, every time these thoughts would come up, I would breathe and speak self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements, and in the evening, I had also written these statements in my notebook, yet I see now I was not speaking these statements from a starting point of stability within myself, so it was apparent that I had not completely directed myself in this point, and had, in fact, suppressed this point. 

So, after I wrote all of this out, where I actually texted this person all that was 'on my mind' it seemed there was a point of stability within me, I calmed down and was able to go back to sleep.

 A little later, as I was driving to work, the backchat started again, the anxiousness reappeared, as I was now in expectation as I was waiting to receive a response from this person.  So, as I was driving, I spoke self-forgiveness, applying breath, bringing this point to myself, as within my mind I was blaming the other person.

Then an interesting thing happened. While I was working, I received a text from this person, and in reading his response, there was an immediate release within myself, where I 'felt' myself calm down,  I 'felt' better about the situation, the person.

So, I asked myself what is it that you are receiving from this person that you are not giving to yourself, that you are not standing as yourself?

When I opened up the point with Sunette, she explained the design of Emotional Attachment - emotional attachments are very specific, wherein, when one had form an emotional attachment to another being, there will be ONE particular energy experience connected to that ONE being. So in other words, with every being we have emotional attachment to, each one of these beings would represent one particular and specific energy experience that we unconsciously believe that we are unable to stand as, as an expression of ourselves and thus, we require having a being around to activate the energy experience for us to access it.

Now, to understand Emotional Attachment, one have to understand the basic principle of Energy - Energy is ALWAYS polarized, when positive energy exists, Negative energy Exists. To expand your understanding on Energy - please visit EQAFE and listen to the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Series
- See more at: http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2014/03/emotional-attachment-and-physical_30.html#sthash.2a1IKT2V.dpuf
When I opened up the point with Sunette, she explained the design of Emotional Attachment - emotional attachments are very specific, wherein, when one had form an emotional attachment to another being, there will be ONE particular energy experience connected to that ONE being. So in other words, with every being we have emotional attachment to, each one of these beings would represent one particular and specific energy experience that we unconsciously believe that we are unable to stand as, as an expression of ourselves and thus, we require having a being around to activate the energy experience for us to access it.
Now, to understand Emotional Attachment, one have to understand the basic principle of Energy - Energy is ALWAYS polarized, when positive energy exists, Negative energy Exists. To expand your understanding on Energy - please visit EQAFE and listen to the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Series
- See more at: http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2014/03/emotional-attachment-and-physical_30.html#sthash.2a1IKT2V.dpuf
When I opened up the point with Sunette, she explained the design of Emotional Attachment - emotional attachments are very specific, wherein, when one had form an emotional attachment to another being, there will be ONE particular energy experience connected to that ONE being. So in other words, with every being we have emotional attachment to, each one of these beings would represent one particular and specific energy experience that we unconsciously believe that we are unable to stand as, as an expression of ourselves and thus, we require having a being around to activate the energy experience for us to access it.
Now, to understand Emotional Attachment, one have to understand the basic principle of Energy - Energy is ALWAYS polarized, when positive energy exists, Negative energy Exists. To expand your understanding on Energy - please visit EQAFE and listen to the Quantum Mind Self Awareness Series
- See more at: http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2014/03/emotional-attachment-and-physical_30.html#sthash.2a1IKT2V.dpuf
I placed this person before me, and I realized when I am with him, I feel motivated and yet I also feel calm and stable with regard to this field of endeavor, which is new to me, that he is introducing me to. So, in this I see that I am having a positive-feeling experience towards this person that then shifts into a negative-feeling experience when my expectations are not met.

So, in both cases I see/realize/understand that I am not standing equal and one with this person, instead standing in separation, where I initially feel motivated to pursue this endeavor when I am with him, using him as a point of stability and calm, then falling into expectation and blame when things don't proceed according to my imaginings.

In my next blog, I will write the self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications.


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Sunday, April 6, 2014

Day 504 - Physical Application


                                                                                         Desteni Artists


Continuing from my last blog - Day 503 - Worry


As I wrote in my last blog, my grandson was undergoing surgery to repair one of his heart valves.  So, initially I observed fear/worry come up within me, the day before the surgery.

I have written extensively on this point, writing self-forgiveness/self-corrective applications.  So, I realized this was an opportunity to direct myself to change.  I observed myself within this 24 hour period, and every time that emotion would come up, I would breathe and live/apply the change, then bring the written statements of self-forgiveness and self-correction here into application in the physical.

Thereby I was able to remain constant and stable, not going into 'hoping all would go well' not going into fear 'what if something happens', just being here, slowing myself down, aware of myself, my body, my breathing, my current reality.

So, the surgery was successful, my grandson is home, recuperating, I was able to see him yesterday, and through this I did not put stress upon my body, I did not fall into 'fear/worry'. I was able to direct myself, I was able to change.

Would you like to stabilize yourself so as not to go into 'high hopes' or 'fear/worry' in your day to day living? 

Join us at Desteni, enroll in the DIP Lite Course, start the process to change yourself and thus assist and support yourself and others, see how you can live Life grounded and stable, releasing yourself from your limitations.

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Thursday, April 3, 2014

Day 503 - Worry


My grandson was born with a heart murmur.  He is now 8 years old and his condition has never been visible.  However, one of his valves needs some assistance in opening correctly to ensure proper blood flow, which is causing the murmur which when listened to through a stethoscope has a whooshing sound.

The doctors have been monitoring his condition since his birth, and it has finally reached the stage where they will go ahead with the procedure of placing a balloon in this valve to keep it open correctly.

So, tomorrow my son and daughter-in-law will take my grandson to Children's Hospital for this operation.  The procedure will take 2-3 hours, after which he will remain at the hospital for at least 6 hours for observation.

I have known of his condition since he was born and have actually researched it on the internet, and since heart murmurs can be quite common, and I never witnessed any physical symptoms from him, I just always 'assumed' that this was a benign situation that would correct itself as his body matured.  Actually, wondering if they were making more out of it than it was.

So, now the actuality of him having this procedure has become a reality.  And I find myself trying not to be concerned and worried.

And just in that statement alone of 'trying', I see that I am suppressing worrying about him, as every time I think about him being operated on there is definite movement within me.

So, for now I am directing myself to slow myself down and breathe, standing as a pillar of support, as the operation is not even here yet, it is tomorrow, and I only have this moment, and worrying about what might happen serves no practical purpose.

I will direct myself in the next 24 hours and continue in my next blog.


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