Friday, March 27, 2015

Day 597 - I Did Not See This Coming - Facing the Unexpected


My work life has drastically changed over these past weeks.  That which I had established to create order in my client's life has all changed due to her recent condition which has rendered this 'planned order' null and void.

What I am faced with is the unexpected.  In other words, I did not see this coming.  I had 'in my mind', established a 'planned order' to my client's life, making sure that every detail of her life was attended to, affording her the best quality of life at her current age and physical/mental capacity, and in fact, she had been given a clean bill of health from her doctors, she was actually in a 'good place' before this recent turn of physical/mental events which ended up changing her life at this time.

As I stated in my last blog, she became physically ill which then spiraled into a mental relapse that I have not witnessed since nine years ago when I first came on this case when she was in this 'mental state'.

So, she is now hospitalized and being treated.

Facing the unexpected has definitely brought up points/patterns, to which I have had the tools of Desteni to stabilize myself, to observe myself, to see what I can do, here in the physical, to assist and support myself, my client, the family, and others assisting and supporting her in numerous capacities.

What I see/realize/understand is that one can definitely plan and organize day to day life for oneself and/or another, however, uncertainty is a fact, as one never knows what lays ahead.  All we can do for ourselves and those we assist and support is to do what we can, taking responsibility for our immediate action/reaction. Therefore, when the unexpected happens, which it will, in some form or another, we have a stable platform, we have that order in the physical, and thus can stop and breathe, look at what comes up within ourselves and immediately direct ourselves in real time to assist and support ourselves and others as ourselves to stand constant and stable as a pillar of support, because even though we may not know what will happen, we can know ourselves, we can direct ourselves.

Our Journey to Life is always a Journey into the Unknown..

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Saturday, March 7, 2015

Day 596 - Why Can't I Fix This?


The past several weeks have been 'challenging' to say the least.  Of course 'challenging' because I have accepted and allowed myself to be challenged within these set of events, to which several points have been triggered/opened up.  So, in this, I will be looking at one point in particular, anxiety/frustration.

First of all I received a message several weeks ago from my client's son at 11pm on a Sunday night that they were leaving the emergency room and she had been diagnosed with a bladder infection and a slight case of pneumonia.

Now my client is 90 years old and already has several physical and mental impairments, so this current illness/discomfort was added to her already diminished capacity.

My initial response to this message was a 'feeling' of anxiety and fear.  "Would she get better, was this life-threatening?  Many elderly people die from pneumonia." Was the backchat/internal dialogue within me.

She felt terrible that week and as time went on she started exhibiting other symptoms such as an overall weakness to which she felt like she could not walk.  So, in taking her to her regular physician that Friday, he was not pleased with the antibiotic medication which the hospital had prescribed, stating that it was too strong for someone her age.  He then prescribed a milder antibiotic.

So, throughout the week and into the next week she started exhibiting signs of extreme anxiety, fragility, fear, depression.  Now, she has a bipolar disorder that is treated with a certain medication which keeps her fairly stable.  What I was witnessing was her 'crashing', as though the antibiotic or the infection itself was interfering with her medication, rendering her highly symptomatic.

Now, the interesting thing is that as I observed her becoming more and more anxious to the point of becoming manic, I took on that anxiety. While I was with her I used my breath and voice tonality to assist and support her, yet when I was away from her I participated in backchat 'will she recover from this?' 'will she receive the help she needs in time?' will she continue in this downward spiral and not be able to recover?'  I also found myself feeling frustrated in regard to the whole situation and to the fact that I could not do anything to alleviate her suffering.

She has 'crashed' in the past, in fact when I first came on this case nine years ago she was in such a state and ended up in the hospital to facilitate stabilizing her.

Her family took her to the doctor that treats this particular disorder, and what they decided was to change the dosage of her medication and see if that would create the desired change rather than hospitalize her.

So, it's been a few days now.  I have been with her every day and of course am watching to see if there is a significant change to which she becomes calmer and more stable.


I am watching/observing myself, using breath, self-forgiveness/self-corrective application to direct myself in real time as points/patterns come up.




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Thursday, February 5, 2015

Day 593 - Another Change

                                                                                           Desteni Artists

I spend a good amount of time with my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.  Now, I had a pattern of micro-managing them with their parenting and parenting skills. 

Recently, while spending time with them I saw that I've changed.  First of all I would like to say that I wrote extensively about this pattern through the years.  Actually 'feeling' at one point that I would never transcend this point/pattern.  Yet, I didn't give up.  Every time I reacted in judgment within myself, every time I actually said something, I applied self-forgiveness through writing and sounding.

On many occasions, on my way to their home, I would speak self-corrective applications, so as to provide myself with a platform, rescripting myself so as to direct myself to change.

Well, recently while spending time with them, on several occasions actually, I noticed that those 'thoughts' would still come up, yet there was no longer energy attached and that I was able to breathe and let them go and just be present.

In fact on several occasions now, there would be a question formulating in my mind, where as I looked at it in that moment, I was able to tell myself 'that's really none of your business'.

So, what has happened is that my relationship with my daughter-in-law has changed where I actually just enjoy her, as she was always receiving the brunt of my judgment/criticism, and having released myself from that pattern, I find that I'm seeing/looking at her in a new 'light', so to speak.

My relationship with my son, actually, always remains the same, no matter what, as he is always constant within our relationship, and in fact, that is another blog, what I've actually learned from my son's natural expression of himself.

I've also been able to enjoy my grandchildren more, as I'm not looking to see if their 'appearance' is up to my 'standards'.

So, the point of this blog is to say - Don't Give Up!  Even with those points/patterns that seem the most insurmountable, as was the case with me and this pattern, I just never gave up, and yes it really took years to reach this 'new point' within my relationship with my family, with my relationship with myself, but in all actuality that change can occur within a breath.

Join Us at Desteni, check out the sites listed below, get involved, and become the change you wish to see in the world.  Because through the Desteni tools it will happen, no bells and whistles, just practical common sense creating a stable existence.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Day 592 - And It Lingers On


I have been sick for over two weeks now with a virus.  The first week I could barely get out of bed and then when the second week rolled around, and I was still symptomatic, I found myself becoming angry and frustrated that I was still not feeling well.

I went investigating on EQAFE, and actually re-listened to:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-evolution-of-the-common-cold-2013-future-of-consciousness-part-44

"What is the relationship between the common cold and the body?
How can viruses now reach deeper dimensions in the body than ever before?
Why do viral infections will now last longer and be more difficult to heal?
Why does the experience of sickness become more extreme as we get older?"

I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND investing in this recording as it explains why colds and viruses have become more intense and more long-lasting, along with practical application.

So, upon listening to this recording and introspecting myself and what was coming up, first of all, I was having very strange, intense dreams which I am continuing to investigate.

When I became angry/frustrated, I was able to speak self-forgiveness within myself.

I finally went to the clinic yesterday, and was told that I have developed a sinus infection, yet my lungs are clear.  So, I was given a prescription for a nasal spray.  I have been using this since yesterday, and am starting to feel a little relief, yet I also can smell/taste the medication.

So, I will continue to introspect and open up/investigate what comes up.  I will continue to assist and support my body, as it is assisting and supporting me with this very virus that is targeting emotional weaknesses through memory.


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Saturday, January 17, 2015

Day 591 - Angry at My Own Fear


I recently woke up from a dream where the world was bracing for 'the end'.  In the dream, myself and family members were trying to find a safe place as the winds that were expected/anticipated were to be like nothing the modern world had known.

I woke up feeling agitated, tense, fearful.

Now, the interesting aspect of this is that I had recently become aware of the 'Organ Clock', through members in my group.  So, I looked to see what time it was.

It took me a bit to breathe and calm myself down and then go back to sleep.  Then the next morning I got on the internet and looked up the Organ Clock. 

"In Chinese Medicine, certain hours of the day correspond to certain organs in your body.  Following the natural rhythm of your own body enhances health; going against the natural rhythm of your own body may cause your health to decline.  If you are experiencing a symptom that seems to occur the same time each day, it may be linked to a specific imbalance in a particular Organ system."

According to the chart, the time that I woke up was when the liver was at its maximum strength and reading further the one emotion connected to this was 'anger'.

Now, I have had a main character of anger my whole life and walking my process I have been made aware of how I used anger to suppress fear.

 In looking at my dream and the feeling of fear, terror, hopelessness that accompanied it, and then looking at the chart, I had a realization.  I was/am angry at my own fear.  So I found the Organ Clock a very cool point of reference to continue to open up/investigate this point.


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Saturday, January 10, 2015

Day 590 - Assisting and Supporting Another As Myself


I just got off the phone with my daughter, she talked about this situation at her work, stated her frustration.  Then she said "I woke up in the middle of night, still chewing on this, so, (mom, I listen to you more than you think I do) I spoke self-forgiveness and nothing happened."

So, it was really cool, as we actually went a little deeper into the process of using the breath to stabilize oneself, applying self-forgiveness, then self-corrective application, and then using that as a platform to change in real time.

She then asked me to do a reading on her.  So, (just an aside, I used to do readings for many years using numerology, tarot, sacred path cards and some astrology) I pulled out my cards and laid out a spread, and then told her what I was seeing and was able to practically assist and support her.

So, through this exchange I was again 'reminded' that I can, in fact, still do readings, that I can assist and support others, as myself, as my starting point has changed and thus my 'seeing' is reflected in that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my skill of doing readings, referencing memories of how I used to do readings, leading people into an energetic experience, believing that this was my calling, my purpose, as I see/realize/understand that this is/was a skill that I developed over many years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit/diminish the skill that I do have of using Numerology/Tarot/Sacred Path Cards/Astrology as a tool to assist and support practically, as I see/realize/understand that in the years that I have walked process, when I do lay out a reading, when I do a numerological chart, I still have that skill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, upon starting walking process, to shut down to that fact that I can 'read' people, as I used to believe I was reading their energy, as I see/realize/understand that what I am seeing is their programming/patterning, which can be very supportive to share with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to shut down that part of myself that still exists within and as me.

When and as I see myself referencing memories of how I used to do readings, what my starting point used to be, I stop and I breathe, I look at the spread before, the chart before me, thereby applying practical common sense 'seeing' to assist and support another in their programming/patterning within practical living solutions within a starting point of what is best for all.

I commit myself to continue to expand and investigate this point that I have suppressed through diminishing myself, through guilt/shame of how I 'used to be', as I see/realize/understand that I still have this skill and can use this skill in conjunction to assist and support myself and others as myself.


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Friday, January 2, 2015

Day 589 - The Secret of Breath - Stable New Moment


                                                                       Rozelle Platakis

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-31-secret-of-breath.html

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that only through breath moving too slow for the mind, will the truth be revealed, whether I am Life, or whether I am Mind only
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that what I participate in breath by breath indicates ‘who I am’, and that this will determine who I will be at death, as the final breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the secret of Earth and birth is hidden in plain sight in the secret of breath. Wherein, the secret of ‘who I am’ is revealed in the small things I do, or do not do, breath by breath."
"I commit myself to remind those that stand up for Life that the small actions of supporting each other and those that rise from the ashes of their Lives, will determine who you are as Life. The small measures determine the big outcomes."
"I commit myself to show that choice exists in every breath as a choice that must be made with awareness as it accumulates into the world we all experience and live in.
 I commit myself to demonstrate that Earth is the eye of the needle, where the I as need will determine who each one is in fact – slowly, breath by breath accumulating with the inevitable certainty the answer as ‘who I am’: whether it is Life or it is mind." Bernard Poolman

What if we said to one another "Stable New Moment" instead of "Happy New Year"?  Do you think it would catch on?  Probably not and why is that?  Because it does not carry with it that energetic high?  Yet, I'm sure many have come to realize the emptiness of experiencing a feeling of euphoria as fleeting, tinged with an underlying sense of anxiety. And, as we whip ourselves up into this frenzied excited feeling at this time of the year, what are some of the consequences?

For instance:

http://news.yahoo.com/report-35-killed-42-injured-shanghai-stampede-213518076.html;_ylt=A0SO8yg.tKZUWVkAPOJXNyoA


"Thirty-five people died in a stampede during New Year's celebrations in Shanghai's historic waterfront area, city officials said Thursday — the worst disaster to hit one of China's showcase cities in recent years.
A Shanghai government statement said another 46 people were receiving hospital treatment, including 14 who were seriously injured, following the chaos about a half-hour before midnight."

So these people died because of why?  What was the point?  To celebrate, to ring in the New Year?  Which ultimately cost them the greatest gift of all which was/is their own Life.

Every moment is new, every breath is new, every day is new.  So why do we accept and allow ourselves to still support 'traditions' that we just accept instead of investigating what it means to really live each moment, each day as a new opportunity to really get to know ourselves, to really stand up and take responsibility for our own Life within a starting point of stability as the breath, that creates a pillar of support for ourselves, one another, and our world.

I have chased that elusive energetic high and I have walked/am walking a process to stand up, stable and calm as a living application of practical solutions within myself and the world.  There is absolutely no comparison!

So - take the challenge - Sign up today for DIP Lite, a free on-line course that will start you on your Journey to Life -  It will be the greatest gift you can/could give yourself - Gifting Yourself Life!

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