Sunday, July 17, 2016

Day 609 - Computer Glitches


My old computer crashed several months ago and I had to get a new one.

An old pattern of computer-resistance has resurfaced, as I see that my computer knowledge was specific to my old computer.  So I've faced uncertainty in how to maneuver through this new computer and what I've done, is sort of give up, where I'll try something, not succeed, try again, still not succeed, then accept and allow myself to experience a brain fog, where I then just close the computer.

As I type this, I'm realizing, for the first time, that the keyboard is in the upper part of the base, wide separation, having to raise my arms up, tilt the computer forward/upward to make the keyboard more accessible, so as not having to hunch over.  Which makes me circumspect, was it designed that way deliberately, as compression has become the way in which this cystem keeps the body in a weakened condition.

I've also through this transition become aware of the mechanics of the different search engines, which was also adding to my experience of unfamiliarity that I accepted and allowed through my participation in feeling sort of confused, anxious, annoyed, frustrated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into something with a preconceived idea of how it will be, such as, this will be fine, seeing the potential, yet experiencing an energetic lift with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then when things don't flow, I react within myself, 'oh no I don't want to deal with this', thus looking at the situation as a stumbling block instead of realizing that this is a piece of equipment that is new to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate resistance, to which, when I would go to open the computer, I was still reacting to the old backchat that I did not direct, thus I would then, look for justifications as to use my phone instead, dismissing that which needed my attention and direction within actually sitting down and utilizing my computer.

I commit myself to when and as resistance to opening up my computer comes up, I stop and I breathe, realizing in that moment that that resistance is just the mind, energy, no substance, and I then open my computer and attend to the task at hand.

I commit myself to not make things more than -  that which they are

Monday, June 20, 2016

Day 608 - What's Going On in My Body?

I have been incorporating Foundation Training into my everyday life and it has proven to be, is continuing to prove to be, the missing component, for me, that actually supports my body in such a way that I am experiencing a greater strength and freedom of the chronic pain I was enduring, yet also showing me the weaknesses that exist within my body, giving a deeper meaning/understanding to everything I've ever felt/done is still here, stored in my physical body.

Yet a very interesting point has come up, which is, first of all I was not even aware of my muscular system, as in this training, it is explained, very specifically, how each movement activates which muscle.

So, I bought myself an Atlas of the Human Body and while scanning it, I was struck, by how much of the inner systems, of my own body, I had skimmed over throughout my life, never getting a clear picture as to what exactly is going on within my own body, making determinations/decisions for my body from a mind-based perspective, on what I thought would best support my body, many times not cross-referencing with my body. Or, finding out after the fact, that in fact, a certain decision did not best support my body at all, still keeping me in separation of my physical body, thus having a conceptual experience of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation of my own body and its inner workings, looking for outward results based on my mind's interpretation of what a certain outcome would be, and thus pushing myself, my body, to meld into this concept, instead of realizing/living the very power of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize that the mind is actually very small in comparison to the body and the power of the body and its many dimensions.

Another point that has come up is my lack of awareness in each moment, each breath, each movement as to what my body is doing, ie, what's my little finger doing, lol, or any other part of my physical body while performing a task, while sitting, standing, walking, as I see/realize that not only should I bring my awareness to the task at hand, I should also bring my awareness into my body, and what my body is doing while performing the task.

I've also realized that being right-handed, I've relegated my left hand to a supportive role, and many times the role of the observer, ie., subservient.  So in switching hands, doing a task left handed, I find that I must move much slower and deliberate, all the while, the right hand wants to take over and do it more efficiently, which really boils down to just quicker.  So, I've been experimenting also with writing and drawing with my left hand which has proved very enjoyable.

I commit myself to continue to pay attention to my body and its movement by continuing my training and integration of proper alignment, which is very specific in each and every moment.

I'm truly amazed at the power of the physical body and how supportive it is in walking process through Desteni.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Day 607 - The Continuing Vaccine Story

So, as I wrote in my blog, Holding Ourselves Accountable, I have been studying the facts surrounding vaccines, which is really part of this whole world system which is in place.

I have come to realize the extent of damage/injury in practically everyone I meet, from the subtle to the extreme.

In my own family my grandson is diagnosed as Borderline Autistic/ADHD/Speech delay/Hearing Loss.  He is almost 10 and is in Special Ed.  He was injected with the initial Vitamin K shot and then was given his first vaccines which made him so sick he turned green.  He exhibits the 'vaccine glaze', an unfocused gaze, unable to make long eye contact. He is unable to talk in paragraphs, instead phrasing, repeating, asking the same questions over and over, asking questions he knows the answers to.

So, through this silent epidemic, there is more and more sharing of information as to symptoms along with solutions that others have incorporated in their lives to help their children, parents, themselves.

What I'm also discovering is the damage in my son who is 36.  He also had the Vitamin K shot, which in hindsight, I see caused damage, which was dismissed as something else, which I accepted at that time.  However, after he had his first vaccine and became sick we stopped all vaccines.

However, the damage had been done.  He too, always had a fuzzy look about his eyes, which I now know is the 'vaccine glaze'.  He always struggled in school and throughout his life and we never attributed it to his brain/body being attacked as an infant.

Through this all there has been blame and regret that has come up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to blame myself for not having figured it out sooner, that through my unseeing I participated in creating more stress for my son and also not realizing the extent of my grandson's injury, not coming up with solutions sooner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious within myself that 'why didn't I see this' 'it was right in front of me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look back over my son's history, while blaming myself and regretting not taking action sooner, now feeling pressured to make up for loss time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience an anguish, feeling a constriction within my chest/throat/solar plexus holding my breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed with information.

And as such,

I commit myself to when and as I'm experiencing blame towards myself and others as myself because of regretting past decisions, I stop and I breathe, I instead look at these memories, not taking it personally, and write down the symptoms and events to create a document of the injuries and the continued consequences.

I commit myself to when and as I'm experiencing feeling overwhelmed, I stop and I breathe, I identify what I'm experiencing, seeing that it is the mind's creation, and thus directing myself in that moment to slow down and ground myself here in the physical, taking physical actions, ie., writing down what needs to be done and then taking the steps to integrate here.

Investigate these Important Sites:

  Desteni DIP Lite Course - Learn Essential Life Skills

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Day 606 - Walking Process With Adult Children

My process through Desteni started in 2009.  I have written extensively on who/what I 'thought' I was before I started process.  In that, I considered myself to be a loving, positive person, thus raising my children 'in love'.

So, my children were 28 and 29 when I first started process.  Now, at first, coming across the information through Desteni that exposed the 'lie' I was living, I experienced a complete breakdown of my belief system.  Where I actually spent a considerable amount of time in tears.

My children, witnessing this were the most effected as they were the ones that were raised by this 'love and light persona' that I had believed was real.

So in the first few years, as I was newly walking my process,  both of my children wanted nothing to do with what I was undertaking, as their first encounter with Desteni was through witnessing me in a state of distress. So they labeled it as 'negative, dark', and something they wanted no part of, where my daughter actually expressed, "I feel like I've lost my mother".

Now, I've written in previous blogs, that through the years, and as I started changing and becoming more stable, my daughter started opening up to the value of process and with that slowly started incorporating using the breath, identifying characters/patterns/programming and when faced with making decisions, considering what was best for all. We also became close again.

And now, this past year, my son, who has been quiet about this for these past years, has opened up to me about his initial experience back in 2009 and how it was very hard for him as he had taken all  the 'beliefs' that I had raised him in and incorporated it and he really didn't know what to make of this new turn of events, so he basically kept quiet.

However, again, through seeing me change, becoming more stable and now 6 years into walking process being able to expand and express myself, he not only sees the value in process but has/is slowly incorporated it within himself, to which I was quite surprised at his level of understanding.

One of the great things of walking process with your children is they know all your characters/patterning.  So, when I'm with either one of them, they both, will respond to my 'silent backchat'!  Which is really cool, because they will call me out!  And not only that, but when a 'character' pops up they immediately recognize and identify it! They also stop me if I start 'preaching' about process, which supports me immensely!

Not only have we developed a close relationship again, but we are able to support each other when facing our programming, assisting each other in facing these points that come up and need direction.

It is really cool when I talk with them and they will be explaining a situation in their lives and how  their approach to the solution is much more practical and stabilizing for themselves and others.

So a lot has changed between us and for us in these 6 years.  It has/is been a process.  One step at a time, breath by breath!

  Desteni DIP Lite Course - Learn Essential Life Skills

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Day 605 - Holding Ourselves Accountable

For the past month I have been posting/sharing information that I have become aware of on my facebook page and through twitter regarding vaccines.  From information in what is in them to the dramatic increase in the actual vaccine schedule for children, also reporting on the countless cases of children and adults who have been injured/damaged and died due to these toxic cocktails being introduced into their systems.  I have shared information from 'whistleblowers' and the recent 'suspicious' deaths of doctors who have spoken out, along with their documentations.

I have also shared information on vaccines themselves and their origin.

The moment a child is born they are immediately injected with a substance which causes 'stress' upon their physical body, the beginning of their poisoning.

What are vaccines showing us?  What do they and this system represent as a projection of ourselves?

From the moment we are born, a system is put into place, a mind-construct system, that consists of thoughts, feelings, emotions that poisons our bodies, just as a vaccination does yet we are oblivious to this, believing that we are our thoughts, feelings and emotions, sort of like the same way we 'believe' in what we have been told from medical/pharmaceutical industries.

The point I'm making here is that in order to create a solution we must first look to ourselves as to what we have accepted and allowed, not in judgment or blame, but in standing up and taking responsibility for what we see 'out' there and understanding that there is no 'out' there and that we are all equally responsible, and that being said, responsibility creates change through action. Yet how do we go about creating these changes?

How do we create a change within ourselves to effect a change within this world?  Where do we start?  We start with ourselves.

I am not placing a 'simplistic' point of view here, as concerned/frightened parents are looking for solutions now as there have been laws put into place that require immediate attention, and that being said, I do not have the immediate solutions, only the necessary steps needed to take to create the solutions.

I have recently had a huge 'aha' moment, so to speak, realizing that walking out of the mind-construct system is only part of the solution, that in fact, there is a world system that has also been put into place and thus must equally be walked with just as much specificity as the mind-construct process.

As we look around this world, everything is intensifying in every sector.  It's time to ask the hard questions and take action, realizing that it is up to each one of us individually yet we must come together collectively, as we are destroying/poisoning the very life that supports us.

After all, we are all Life.

Investigate these Important Sites:

  Desteni DIP Lite Course - Learn Essential Life Skills

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Day 603 - Homesick for a Place

There is a very supportive EQAFE series on Homesickness that I will post here.

I have been facing/investigating this point for some time now, where I would feel homesick, not for people, but more for a place, the forest, the mountains, when seeing pictures of same, I would still have a feeling of homesickness/nostalgia come up.

I discovered several points in listening to this series.  First of all my homesickness was not in relation to people but to a place where I used to live, on the East Coast in the U.S., in the mountains of California.  When I would see a setting in a movie and/or pictures of forests, mountains, there was still that longing to return there.

Through walking my process with Desteni, I have applied self-forgiveness/self-correction applications when and as this 'feeling' came up.  I would use my breath to slow myself down, yet there was still something I was missing in my application.

Upon listening to this series, I realized that I was still resisting this 'feeling' that came up, instead of directing myself Here, and then looking around at where I am now, where I live now, asking myself how fully engaged am I in my life Here? What do I enjoy about where I live now?  Why am I here?
Do I want to go back and live in the mountains?  Do I want to live on the east coast?

So, what I did was use my imagination constructively, picturing myself living where I used to live in the mountains, living on the east coast, and what I realized was that I was where I wanted to be, right here.  I also realized that this did not have to diminish my enjoyment of spending time in the forests and/or mountains, nor did I have to lock myself into nostalgia/homesickness, which is a pattern/program of the mind, thus missing the opportunity to fully engage in my present life, thus giving myself the opportunity to create my Life Here where I am!

I highly recommend this series and for that matter any and all EQAFE recordings as one is presented with valuable insight/information, plus practical applications that when applied are highly assisting and supporting to change patterns/programming within oneself.

Investigate these Important Sites:

  Desteni DIP Lite Course - Learn Essential Life Skills
Equal Life Foundation
  Living Income Guaranteed by Equal Life Foundation
  Living Income Guaranteed

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Day 599 - Pillars of Support

I recently had an interesting encounter that I would like to share.  As I've stated in many other blogs, I am a caregiver and assist a 90 year old woman that lives in a semi-assisted/fully assisted/independent senior community.

My client has recently gone through a plethora of medical issues these past few months, and as I was leaving her place one of her friends stopped and asked me how she was doing.

I explained what my client's symptoms were at the moment and the response I received from this woman greatly assisted and supported ME.

Her response was 'at our age things don't get fixed they get different', and as she was talking I became aware of how calm and stable and accepting she was, and in that moment I was able to see that I wasn't!  I was sort of holding my breath and definitely engaged in energy. 

So, as the woman stood before me, I was able to take a step back within myself, breathe and slow myself down, and stabilize myself as she was standing as a pillar of support.

When we take the time to stop and share ourselves and really listen, really look into the eyes of another, it becomes very apparent that we all have so much we can learn, give/receive, support and be supported by one another in our daily lives.  It's Just That Simple.

Investigate these Important Sites:

  Desteni DIP Lite Course - Learn Essential Life Skills
Equal Life Foundation
  Living Income Guaranteed by Equal Life Foundation
  Living Income Guaranteed