Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Day 574 - Self-Forgiveness on the Color Green


Continuing from Day 572 and Day 573

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that my relationship with the color green was/is very extensive, has existed throughout the great majority of my life, having always gravitated to where I am near and or surrounded with the color green and experiencing a negative reaction with myself of despair when not surrounded with green and then polarizing this system design by feeling elated, soothed when surrounded with green.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify/qualify green as a healing color, that provides a soothing, cooling, restful yet reviving experience, as a tonic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe at one time that the color green represented abundance, and when visualized could draw that abundance into your life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hear a song, and accept and allow myself to follow a memory of my childhood, experiencing a sense of longing, poignancy, instead of just remaining present, listening to the song, and enjoying the vocals and lyrics.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a life-long 'love affair' with forests and trees, not realizing that what I was really having a love affair with was the color green, experiencing it in nature, in separation of myself, accepting and allowing myself to feel awe and inspiration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a positive lift within myself when observing the sun glistening off a green leaf and/or how the green colors in nature are so vibrant after a rainstorm, or when it is overcast.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a sense of delight when observing new growth that is a spring green color, where I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a memory of as a child seeing the new leaves on the dogwood trees along with the blossoms, and feeling a sense of marvel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a 'special' meaning to an emerald green rock that I found many years ago, feeling all excited in my discovery, and repeating my story many times over the years, keeping that special feeling alive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive experience within myself when watching a movie where there were emerald green costumes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories as a child, and throughout the years, of reading an illustrated book on fairy tales and/or fables, where I experienced a feeling 'looking at something magical', when looking at the old growth, dark green forests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view a mint colored blouse as one of my favorites, creating a preference, experiencing a lift within myself when looking at it and wearing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'escape' up into the mountains, where I believed myself to be healed by walking among the green pines, feeling as though my body had been deprived in the desert and was being revived in the mountains, where I would actually say the pine trees healed me, not realizing that, it was again the color green itself that I was reacting to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel devastated when, after a huge forest fire near my home, all the vegetation was gone, with dirt and ash and charred pine trees left, and then polarizing this system design, feeling elated when the new growth appeared and the forest floor was resplendent in green.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I have existed in separation of the color green and how I have accepted and allowed myself to identify qualities as the color green, especially in nature, instead of realizing that those very same qualities exist within and as me.

I see/realize/understand that most of my experience with the color green is very positive, yet I do/did/have experienced green negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike green candy in the form of green lifesavers and green lollipops, where as a child, I would never eat them, I would never want them, and would be very disappointed if I ended up with the 'green' one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find avocado kitchen appliances as very dreary and ugly, sort of recoiling within myself when presented with an image of them and/or seeing them in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a great aversion to the color chartreuse, that when viewing it I almost feel sick to my stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that, in fact, the major moves in my life were based on my relationship with the color green, and placing a need to be surrounded by the color green and the qualities that I attached to it, as an experience of the mind, separating myself from myself, experiencing green in separation of myself, experiencing being surrounded by the color green as a need, as a requirement to my very existence.

When and as I see myself reacting positively to the color green in nature, wanting to identify it with qualities that are delightful, magical, awe inspiring, soothing, healing, I stop and I breathe, I slow myself down and in that moment I look at the color, I look at what is right here before me, seeing the color green for what it is, a physical color that is here on this earth, and as such

I commit myself to not separate myself from the color green by reacting to it, but standing one and equal to it, as it, as I see/realize/understand that by having an experience of the color green I am not accepting or allowing myself to stand as the qualities that I have placed in separation of myself as the color green.

When and as I see myself recoiling in aversion to a shade of green that I have qualified as 'not liking', I stop and I breathe, and in that moment, I look at that color in the context that I have judged it negatively, letting go of judgments I have made within and as the mind, and just view the shade of color as just that, a different physical color of green.

I have realized by opening up this point, that I can breathe and slow myself down when looking/observing nature around me, not reacting to it, just being here equal and one with it.

I commit myself to continue investigating my relationship with colors...


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Monday, October 20, 2014

Day 573 - Realizing My Relationship With Green


Continuing from Day 572

As I've opened up this point regarding my relationship with the color green, I have discovered that this relationship has been life-long and very extensive and much more than I ever realized.

There have been more memories that have surfaced:

After living in the high desert for eight years, I reached a point of despair, wanting to escape the landscape that was all around me, as I was greatly missing the green that I had grown up with.  I thought it was just missing the trees, but in investigating my relationship with the color green, I've realized that the trees were representative of the color green that was 'too little' in my environment.

I then 'escaped' up into the mountains above the high desert in which I lived.  I remember walking through the streets, and feeling revived as I was now nestled in the green of the pine trees, and actually believed that the pine trees were healing me.

I remember one year we had a huge forest fire which destroyed acres upon acres of vegetation.  I went for a hike shortly afterwards to one of my 'favorite' trails, to which I saw nothing but dirt and ash and charred pine trees, the green was all gone.  I was very devastated.  Yet, in the spring, the forest floor was covered with new growth, and the color green was resplendent, to which I again reacted by feeling overjoyed.

In the mid-80s there was a drought in Southern California, much as today, and even though I had the green pine trees around me, there had been no rain, all the other vegetation was dry and withered.  I took a trip up north, to find 'the green', and much to my dismay, upon reaching my destination, I found even more evidence of drought.  I then headed toward the coast, repeating over and over to myself, 'I need green', and felt a huge uplift when upon nearing the coast, the vegetation changed, and I was surrounded by green.  I remember feeling as though my body was drinking in the coolness and moisture, not realizing at the time that I was reacting also to the very color of green itself.

I have now lived in Ventura for nine years and recently I took a day trip up to the mountains where I used to live.  It was a pleasant trip, but I did participate in backchat, 'it's not as green as I remembered, nor as green as where I live now, as, you see, I am surrounded in green, twelve months out of the year.  For even though California is again in a serious drought, here, at the coast, there is still plenty of vegetation that is still green, so I  always experience it as soothing, cooling, to which, I have said on many occasions, that where I live now is the perfect climate for me, yet, again, what I did not realize is that it was again my reaction to the color green itself.

I have also realized when looking at images of, say, Antarctica, or any land that is covered in snow for as far as the eye can see, I have stated on many occasions, 'that I would never want to go there'.  Yet I see/realize now that it is greatly due to my relationship with the color green, where even looking at images of ships out at sea, where all that can be seen is ocean, I again experience that same 'missing green', and also when looking at images of  barren wastelands.


Needless to say, I did not realize, until I started investigating this point, how extensive my dependence on the color green was/is and how many life decisions I had made based on my relationship with the color green.


To be continued...


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Friday, October 17, 2014

Day 572 - Green Green Grass of Home


Continuing with my color series..

Supportive EQAFE interviews:

https://eqafe.com/p/colour-resonance-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-67
 https://eqafe.com/p/how-you-see-colours-the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-part-47

In this blog I will open up/investigate my relationship with the color green.

I have identified/judged/classified green as a healing color, as a color representative of abundance, a color (in most of its shades) that soothes me.

As I was opening up this point, the song 'Green, Green Grass of Home' started playing within me, a song that I've always really liked, as sung by Tom Jones, I have identified as poignant, and bringing up a sense of nostalgia and longing for the green fields of my childhood.

Green, in most of it's shades has always been one of my favorite colors especially in relationship to nature.  I have always greatly liked forests and trees in general, yet as an experience outside of myself, feeling a sense of awe and euphoria when walking in a forest, with all its different shades of green.

I have always liked looking at the leaves of trees glistening in the sunshine and have always felt a sense of awe, after a rainstorm, or on a cloudy day, when the green in nature seems more intense in its darkness/richness of color.

I have had many positive experiences driving on a roadway that is canopied with trees, again experiencing it in separation of myself.

I have always liked green grass, running on it as a child, laying on it, just enjoying the color of it that looks like an emerald green blanket, and when I first moved to the high desert of California from the east coast, I went in search of the green grassy fields that I grew up with and experienced a big disappointment when I realized that the desert does not have the green grassy fields of the east coast and mid-west. (of course it had other parts of nature to offer, but that is another blog).

I went to the redwoods once in my life and as I was hiking within the forest I 'felt' like I was in a cathedral, as it 'felt' very sacred and special to me, and I was really surprised that the forest floor was covered in bright green ferns, as I did not know, at that time, that ferns grew at the base of redwoods, so again, I had this very positive, energetic experience.

I have always really liked in springtime when the trees and plants start budding and then new growth appears in that spring-green color, as I experience a feeling of nostalgia, for past spring times and the positive feeling that I have held onto that still exists within and as me.

I had an experience years ago, where I was hiking up the wash, in the forest behind my home, when I lived in the mountains, and there in the little stream was an emerald green colored rock, about the size of my fist.  I immediately was drawn to it, picked it up, carried it home and to this day I still have it, and have shown many people this rock that I have qualified as beautiful, looking like a jewel to me.

I remember liking the movie Robin Hood, as I was really drawn to the green costumes, which were a rich, vibrant shade that I found as quite beautiful.

As a child, and even through the years, whenever I would read a book on fairy tales that was illustrated, my eye would always be drawn to the dark green of the forests, where I would experience this sort of atmospheric feeling, that was a little dark and even spooky feeling, to which I always qualified it as magical.

One of my favorite blouses is a soft, mint green, that is very soothing and pleasing to the eye, and to which I receive many compliments when wearing it, as it sort of brightens me up.

I do not like avocado green kitchen appliances, judging them as ugly and unpleasing to the eye, experiencing a heaviness within myself upon looking at them, considering them to be dreary.

I never liked green lifesavers or green lollipops, as a child, or even through the years, qualifying them as my least favorite.

And, I have never liked the shade of green known as chartreuse, and interestingly enough, yesterday I met my daughter at a restaurant that we had not been to in some time, and they had painted it, and the trim was this color.  I observed myself, wanting to immediately recoil, say that it was ugly and that I did not like it. Where I actually participated in backchat 'what were they thinking? are you kidding me? that is so ugly!'.

So, basically I had/have a positive experience towards the shades of green of emerald, hunter, forest, spring, mint, all shades of blue-green and have had a positive and negative experience towards avocado green and an intense negative experience towards chartreuse.

To be continued...

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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Day 570 - Color Combinations - Part 2


Continuing from Day 569 - Color Combinations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a negative reaction to the color combination of red and black, following a picture/memory of black and red depicting images that I judged as evil and lurid.

I have also seen in opening up this point, is that I like the combination of red and black when placed in the context of architecture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a feeling of nostalgia within myself when seeing images of stately red brick buildings, surrounded by black wrought iron fences and old-fashioned black street lamps, conjuring up images of a time gone by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience positive feelings when looking at the color combination of red and green, identifying this combination with Christmas, as at one time, this was one of my favorite times of years, where I experienced a sense of joy and merriment, in separation of myself, placing this holiday and all the trimmings outside of myself, identifying it as a special time of year.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify black and orange with Halloween, having positive memories of trick or treating as a child and then carrying this 'tradition' through and having positive memories of taking my children trick or treating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow a picture/memory of childhood birthday parties, where my mother always used the colors black and orange in the decorations of my parties as my birthday was two days before Halloween, having positive feelings regarding these memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a preference for yellow houses with white trim, actually picturing myself one day living in my 'dream' home, to which at one time in my life, I actually lived in a Victorian yellow house with white trim, and how my  eye goes towards this particular color combination when looking at houses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also like white houses with black shutters, and when moving out to the west coast, and not finding this particular style house, nor houses with shutters, feeling a sense of disappointment, comparing east coast architecture with west coast, preferring east coast.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also like red houses with white trim and also be very drawn to country sides dotted with red barns which are very prevalent on the east coast, however, again experiencing a sense of disappointment when seeing that this was not the case on the west coast.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify the color combination of red, white and blue as patriotic colors, of having positive memories of Fourth of July celebrations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify pastel shades of yellow, green and pink with Easter time and the beginning of spring, experiencing a positive lilt within myself at this time of year, experiencing these colors and this time of year in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify the color combination of red, gold, and orange with the season of autumn, experiencing a sense of nostalgia at this time of year, experiencing the splendor of nature as something separate from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a preference for a willow-patterned blue and white dishes, always accepting and allowing myself to being drawn to this color and pattern, having a positive memory of my mother having these dishes when I was a child and always being particularly delighted by them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, as a teenager, have to have black and white saddle shoes, as 'everyone' else had them and I wanted to fit in and be like everyone else, and how excited I was when I got a pair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an aversion to the color combination of purple and orange that I first became aware of when moving to the west coast and noticing that a certain community used this color combination liberally, where I experienced it as garish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a favorite sight of looking up at the blue sky through the green leaves of a tree, and also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to also, feel a positive lift when looking up at the blue sky through red/gold/orange leaves of a tree, and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the same positive experience when looking up at the blue sky, through the leaves of the trees when, in spring, the leaves are a light spring-green.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify the color combination of pale pink, dove-gray, light blue as beach colors, and since I now live on the coast, have created a preference for wearing this color combination, feeling a lilt within myself when looking down at this color combination when wearing same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive reaction within myself when looking at the colors of a rainbow, accepting and allowing myself to feel elated as I look at this display in the sky.

When and as I see myself standing in separation when looking at colors and/or color combinations, experiencing a positive and/or negative reaction within myself, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, looking at what is right in front of me as that which is physical, not accepting or allowing myself to have a mind-experience of what I see as physical colors, not accepting or allowing myself to allow colors to trigger feelings attached to memories, instead looking at the memories that come up, and seeing them as just that, and in that moment, changing and changing my relationship to those memories.

I commit myself to continue to open up/investigate my relationship with colors..

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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Day 569 - Color Combinations


In this continuation of my color series I am going to open up/investigate my reaction to color combinations.

Supportive EQAFE interviews:

https://eqafe.com/p/colour-resonance-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-67
 https://eqafe.com/p/how-you-see-colours-the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-part-47

I have an aversion for black and red, even though its combined in many benign instances, as say in a checkerboard, yet when looking at black and red together, I follow a memory/image of black and red as depicting evil and lurid sex to which I react to negatively.

Red and green brings up images of Christmas, Christmas movies, Christmas trees and decorations and past gatherings, and with it a positive feeling.

Black and orange brings up positive memories of Halloween as a child and when my children were little, along with birthday parties when I was little, where my mother always used black and orange as the theme colors as my birthday was two days before Halloween.

I have a positive feeling towards yellow houses with white trim, in fact, for many years, picturing myself living in such.

I have always had a preference also for white houses with black shutters which were very prevalent where I grew up as a child, and when moving out to the west, finding myself in search of these colors in houses, and feeling disappointed that the houses on the west coast were not the same as those on the east coast, especially lacking in shutters.

I also greatly liked, and felt cheered by bright red houses with white shutters and trim.

Red, white and blue were always representative of patriotic colors that brought up memories of past Independence Day celebrations, that I responded to in a positive way.

Pastel shades of yellow, green and pink always remind me of the beginning of spring and Easter and Easter eggs a time of year that I always identified and qualified as being one of my favorite times of year.

I have always had a preference for dishes that had the willow pattern of white and blue and always reminded of my mother and her dishes that she had when I was a child.

I remember as a teenager black and white saddle shoes were 'in', and that I just had to have a pair, and how excited I was when I actually got a pair.

I have always had a very positive experience in the fall with the leaves turning to orange/red/gold, having memories of collecting the leaves, bringing them into my home, making wreaths, and just the overall exhilarated feeling of 'experiencing' nature in its splendor.

I have an aversion to the combination of orange and purple, that I saw as very apparent in certain communities when coming to the west coast, yet finding it and judging it as garish.

As I now live on the coast, I have come to judge light pink/ dove-gray/light blue as my favorite beach colors, that when wearing these colors, looking down at these colors, I experience a positive energetic lilt.

I have always been had a positive feeling when looking at the blue sky through the green leaves of the tree, qualifying it by stating on many occasions it being one of my favorite sights to see.

And, I have always had a very positive experience when looking at the colors of a rainbow.

Self-forgiveness to follow....


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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Day 568 - Red Sky at Night - Sailors' Delight!


Continuing with my color series...

Supportive EQAFE interviews:

https://eqafe.com/p/colour-resonance-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-67
 https://eqafe.com/p/how-you-see-colours-the-metaphysical-secrets-of-imagination-part-47

In this blog I am going to open up/investigate my relationship with the color red. 

Red became my 'favorite' color to wear when I reached my teens and well into and through my adult life. After my mother always chose pink for me as a child and early teen, I gravitated toward red as I became a teen, believing it to be 'my color', the color that went the best with my coloring, and this included all the different shades of red, scarlett, ruby, maroon, wine, burgundy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a teen and young woman see red as a 'sexier' color than pink, choosing to wear the color red as wanting to appear sexier and older and more sophisticated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when shopping for clothing always seek out the various shades of red to buy to reinforce this belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory of my mother and father going out dancing when I was a child, and my mother would wear this red dress that was my favorite on her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, as a child, when coloring, to have a preference of the 'brick red' crayon, always choosing it first over the other colors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a preference as a child and as an adult for red-heart cinnamon candies, and as a child, red fire-ball candies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify Valentine's Day as a time of images of red hearts, thereby separating February 14th as a special day of love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify the color red with Christmas, with images of Santa Claus, colored Christmas decorations, thereby creating in my mind December 25th as a special day, as the holiday season as a special time of year.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remember the excitement I felt when I, through the help of my father, as a young woman, bought my first brand new car which was a candy-apple red maverick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive energetic experience within myself in fall when the leaves turn, and the maples turn a fiery red, where the Virginia creepers turn a deep red, experiencing a lift within myself viewing the spectacle of the fall colors, thereby 'seeing' the color changes as a 'spectacle' as something grand outside of myself, thereby in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'enthralled' while watching a sunset, where the sky is streaked in red, following a memory backchat, 'red sky at night, sailors' delight, red sky in morning, sailors take warning'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive experience around holly berries, bringing them into my home to add color and decorate during the holidays, and making Christmas cards, getting great pleasure in drawing holly and adding the red berries.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to really like red houses and red barns and red-brick houses, which were very prevalent on the east coast and mid-west where I grew up, experiencing a lift within myself when seeing them, when viewing images of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike red interior walls and especially red-brocade walls, experiencing them, in separation of myself, as heavy and oppressing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a lift within myself the first time, and all the times afterwards that I saw red earth, as growing up on the east coast I was not introduced to the red clay earth until I came out west, where I actually romanticized and imagined when I saw the red earth that I was having a memory of a past life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a preference for garnets, wearing them, making necklaces for myself, referring to them as my favorite, sort of marveling in the deep redness of them, thereby seeing them as something separate from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive experience in using henna on my hair to bring out the red highlights, yet having a slight dislike for men that had red hair, even going so far as to say 'I'm not attracted to carrot-tops', yet very much liking auburn hair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience an aversion within myself towards any images of red depicted in scenes of hell or the devil or in the 'red-light' district, identifying those images as evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as 'squeamish' at the sight of blood, always stating that I could never be a doctor or nurse as 'I could not stand the sight of blood'.

When and as I see myself having a positive and/or negative experience while looking at the color red, in all of its various shades, I stop and I breathe, I do not accept or allow myself to stand in separation of the color red, experiencing it outside of myself, instead I slow myself down, and in that moment stand equal and one to the color red, seeing it for what it is, a physical color, as I see/realize/understand that I do not need to have an emotional experience when looking at the color red, which only perpetuates separation within and as myself.

I commit myself to continue to open up/investigate my relationship with colors.


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Saturday, September 27, 2014

Day 567 - Shades of Gray

 
Continued from Day 568 - Gray Skies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of gloominess/depression when, as a child, young adult, it would be gray rainy skies for days on end, where I would be wishing for sunshine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate gray skies with a feeling of moodiness/gloominess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize this system design, after living in 'sunny' Southern California for many years, then preferring gray skies, feeling a lift within myself when it is overcast and cloudy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the weathermen who always 'qualify' sunny weather as beautiful and gray/overcast weather as gloomy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have many conversations qualifying this belief system of preferring gray skies, stating that the climate in Ventura is 'perfect' for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sort of sigh of relief within myself when feeling the coolness in the air, the moisture in the air, which goes along with the gray/overcast skies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, on the other hand, to not like gray hair, seeing it as a sign of old age, looking older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist letting my hair go gray, for many years, instead, coloring it to close to its 'natural' color, until I finally, just gave up, and then having to face the image of me in the mirror with gray hair, and actually having to get used to this 'new image' of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like wearing gray clothes, especially dove gray, which I see as a light gray color that I prefer, that I 'feel' very comfortable in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like the shade of charcoal gray, yet not like the shade of gun-metal gray, actually feeling an aversion for this shade of gray, say, for instance, looking at the ocean on a stormy day, where the ocean looks gun-metal gray, which I accept and allow to have an unsettling feeling within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to qualify/identify light gray/light blue/light pink as beach colors, that I have articulated as my 'favorite' colors to wear, that match my gray hair and the beach environment that I live in.

When and as I see myself reacting positively to gray skies, experiencing a lift within myself, participating in backchat 'oh I like this weather', I stop and I breathe, I place myself here slowing myself down, looking at the gray skies, seeing them for what they are, either a marine layer, a precursor for rain, realizing that gray skies are an indication of a specific weather pattern.

When and as I see myself preferring wearing gray clothes, because of a belief that they match my hair, they match the beach environment that I live in, I stop and I breathe, as I see/realize/understand that instead of preferring wearing gray, I can, in fact, stand equal to the color gray.

When and as I see myself feeling an aversion to gun-metal gray, where I experience an unsettled feeling within myself, I stop and I breathe, I look at the ocean that is now this particular shade of gray, realizing that this is an indication of stormy weather, which is just a physical manifestation.

I commit myself to see the color gray and all its various shades, for what it is, a physical color, nothing more, nothing less.

I commit myself to continue to walk/open up/investigate my relationship to colors.


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