My old computer crashed several months ago and I had to get a new one.
An old pattern of computer-resistance has resurfaced, as I see that my computer knowledge was specific to my old computer. So I've faced uncertainty in how to maneuver through this new computer and what I've done, is sort of give up, where I'll try something, not succeed, try again, still not succeed, then accept and allow myself to experience a brain fog, where I then just close the computer.
As I type this, I'm realizing, for the first time, that the keyboard is in the upper part of the base, wide separation, having to raise my arms up, tilt the computer forward/upward to make the keyboard more accessible, so as not having to hunch over. Which makes me circumspect, was it designed that way deliberately, as compression has become the way in which this cystem keeps the body in a weakened condition.
I've also through this transition become aware of the mechanics of the different search engines, which was also adding to my experience of unfamiliarity that I accepted and allowed through my participation in feeling sort of confused, anxious, annoyed, frustrated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into something with a preconceived idea of how it will be, such as, this will be fine, seeing the potential, yet experiencing an energetic lift with it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then when things don't flow, I react within myself, 'oh no I don't want to deal with this', thus looking at the situation as a stumbling block instead of realizing that this is a piece of equipment that is new to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate resistance, to which, when I would go to open the computer, I was still reacting to the old backchat that I did not direct, thus I would then, look for justifications as to use my phone instead, dismissing that which needed my attention and direction within actually sitting down and utilizing my computer.
I commit myself to when and as resistance to opening up my computer comes up, I stop and I breathe, realizing in that moment that that resistance is just the mind, energy, no substance, and I then open my computer and attend to the task at hand.
I commit myself to not make things more than - that which they are